Existence?Boon or Bane?

As my thoughts recede into the obscurity of my mind,I search for that ray of hope that will sustain me when I've given up,when my self belief says that nothing I do will suffice to keep me afloat in this turbulent torrent of my thoughts.I look about me and everything that promised of a better existence may actually be a bane to the very existence of what defines me.As a kid,when nothing made sense and everything was decided based on an irrational impulse that was forgiven with a smile or even a gift,the cruel and oft unforgiving nature of life rattles the very fabric of my existence.Why should I complain?I've been blessed but the complaint is merely my soul crying to be heard above the din of my boisterous existence.How ironic it is that people say life gives you something which you can always handle,then why does this reasoning fail so emphatically when we're at the eye of the storm?We then vent and fume and bicker and curse while life snickers in the shadows chiding us,even mocking us for being so confident about being able to handle everything that it metes out to us.Are we really in control of our so called "LIVES" or mere pawns in a game of chess?Is there a pattern to our existence or are we the pattern itself that is etched on to the canvas of time.The answer to this lies with us or within us,even the choice to wherein it lies,ironically,is decided by us.This may be a terrifying thought or a soothing one;the quest for redemption in our hands?More often than not,man has failed to prove his mettle when it came to sustaining the truth,which comes as no surprise whatsoever.Greed,jealousy,hatred,injustice plague our society,who is to be blamed?I experience a gut wrenching thought,is this a divine plan that was due to run its course from the very inception of time or the proof that we always need someone pulling the strings like a puppet show.We still exist,that should suffice for now,however mundane our existence is!Finally,I arrive at what would seem the most apt conclusion;Our existence,Boon or Bane?Conclusion?